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This is kind of an ugly fractal – something I rendered out from XaoS, ran through some colour shifting, de-selected the centre, and then distorted the heck out of the surrounding field. Can’t even remember what fractal it was based on, other than I seem to remember zooming in near endlessly on a tiny dot. I actually made this almost a week ago, but I’m posting it today because it has a slightly psychedelic look. It also reminds me how bloodshot my eyes must look, if I were to bother to look in a mirror.

I’m extremely tired right now.  Between one thing and another (and for once, work is only partially to blame), I’ve gotten two hours sleep in the past day and a half.  Soon, the caffeine is bound to wear off, and I have no doubt I will collapse into blissful oblivion for at least ten to twelve hours.

In the meantime, I’m in the midst of that kind of deep burn/caffeine buzz you can only really achieve through sleep deprivation.  It’s an odd kind of feeling, and for those of you have experienced it, you know that it isn’t entirely unpleasant.  I’m a firm believer that if you hit the exact right state of fatigue, you can achieve a mental focus that’s quite startling.  I’ve done some of my best technical and creative work in this type of state.

The problem is, it’s a fine line, and not maintainable for any length of time.  At some point, you just start nodding off in your chair.  It should also be noted that it isn’t for everyone.  I’ve have lots of practice at this over the years, and I take a kind of perverse pride in my sleep dep abilities.  My record is somewhere between 65 and 70 hours – years ago in University when I had a research paper deadline that I’d let creep up on me.  In spite of the fact that I’d gotten loopy enough by the end of it that I couldn’t even really tell if I was dreaming or typing, I ended up getting an A minus on the paper.  All the same, I’ve never had the desire to repeat the experience.  It may not have been quite my limit, but it was close enough that I don’t need to explore it further.

For tonight, this aging geek teetotaller is enjoying the experience.  But only in moderation.

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